There's this mom at the C's school. We'll call her Shelly.
Shelly is the proud, married nonworking mother of a 10 year old boy and a six-almost-seven year old girl. The girl's name some might think pretentious; others might think charming. I think it's cute, given the girl. It is the last name of a very famous rock star.
Shelly is probably four or five years my senior. She has blond hair and a rock that must give her left hand some serious carpal tunnel syndrome. She can dress up but is most often in her uniform of jacket, sweats, some sort of slide-on shoes, hat, etc. Hair ranges from "done" to seriously "undone". Much like mine, I suspect.
Shelly is known to me primarily for dislodging little salvos at the most odd times. Here are examples of Shellyisms:
Shelly: "Hey, [DD], is [C] really turning 8 this year? Can you change his birthday date and time?" (this in response to the evite sent out by C's dad. He sent it out announcing C turning 8 (um, 7!) and it was sent out two days after ANOTHER evite for EXACTLY THE SAME TIME AND DATE for another boy in the C's class).
Me: I explained to her that this year was not "my" year for the big birthday party, that I had pointed out the overlap to them, and no, C is turning 7.
Shelly: "Well, nexft year you can pay for the pony rides I guess. Each year you have to up the ante, and do something better than the previous... especially in your case".
...two weeks later...
Shelly: "So, [DD], how was [C]'s birthday?" Me: "I don't know. Like I said, it wasn't my turn"
Shelly: "Hey, [DD], are you going to be at the PTSA Christmas Party?"
Me (having replied on the Evite "No" at least a week prior): "Oh, sorry, I can't make it"
Shelly: "Oh that's ok, we'll all talk about you anyway."
Shelly says these things with a completely straight face and, it must be said, with a charming lack of concern. Her comments bring to light that you are required by the social norms here to up your birthday fabulousness each year for your child (C's was at the Cougar Mountain Zoo, I understand, complete with Santa and Reindeer), and if you don't show up to PTSA events you are thereby forfeitting your right to rebuttal on any comment made about you, you doc-marten-and-jeans-wearing single-mom hussy!
And I believe her, too.
On both counts.
With our upcoming cross-country adventure looming, the Beloved and I decided to celebrate our own Christmas a little early this weekend. On Saturday, we stayed in our jammies, opened our stockings and exchanged gifts. Penny got her first stocking and was excited to find a couple of new toys and a few treats.
We said no tv or computer and we stayed in, lit the fireplace, listened to Christmas music and read. The weather cooperated for such a day by providing a much too rare all-day rain. Pretty much a perfect day.
The Christmas feast this year was a Bobby Flay recipe that we’d decided on – a veritable mouthful: Pan Seared Duck with Red Chile Pear Sauce, Bourbon-Brown Sugar-Asian Pear Relish and Potato-Blue Cheese Cakes. We had it with an excellent Novy Family Syrah.
This week is busy with a lot of prep and packing. I did stop by AAA today while I was out and scored this important travel aide:
We hit the road in THREE DAYS!
What can I tell you that you don't already know? It's a Buffett album, but one that doesn't match the quality of the last few albums.
The Good: It seems like Buffett has finally departed from his attempt to duplicate the "It's 5 O'clock Somewhere" success. Of course, his efforts have produced some good duets and songs; however, it's time for Buffett to make the music he wants to make and not the music he thinks will get him CMT awards. Just my opinion, you actual mileage may vary.
The Bad: The album... I would put this in the category of "Beach House on the Moon". One or two songs you will like, the rest you will ignore.
Sean Daly at the TampaBay.com / St. Petersburg Times gives a less than stellar review: "Buffet Hotel: Don't Bother Checking In".
Buffett's new album is called Buffet Hotel — and no, that's not a misspelling. The Buffet Hotel is a West African musical hot spot. In rather fascinating liner notes (which are by far the best part of the album), Buffett credits this peculiar creative zone for Malian musicians as a source of his own newfound inspiration. The songs you are about to hear, he writes in a warm hand, retell his wild adventures to the far reaches of the world. Except they don't. Instead, Buffet Hotel is basically stuffed with the same crass, hackneyed ingredients he's been ho-humly regurging for years. |
It seems that a lot of PH, echo this opinion on facebook.
Props go out to Mr. Daly for actually reviewing Buffett's album without dismissing it as island anomaly among the utterly disposable rap, hip-hop, and club music released this year.
This is a public announcement. I filed my divorce papers today, hired an investigator to find the boss, and will most likely be hiring them to serve the papers.
The whole thing has run me about $300 plus what I have to pay to have the papers served. Shenanigans. I'm sort of irritated about the money, but guess what? I'm more irritated that the Boss has been taking advantage of me all these months. Really and truly, I probably would have given her all the way until December 2010 to get her stuff out if she had just cooperated, but now, she will have until June 30, 2010 (if she shows up to court). I may be able to ask the court for a change to the agreement if she doesn't show. That means on Feb. 4, 2010 everything in the house will be officially mine to throw away.
The thing is that I probably have another 6 months worth of cleaning to do. I don't know. Maybe two full weekends if I pony up the money for a dumpster. It's mainly scraps of paper, fabric and stupid art stuff.
END OF LINE
Over the weekend, BabySteps introduced me to the finer points of tasting and enjoying wine; thus, it's probably needless to say that I didn't like it.
Background
BS told me that 2010 will be the year in which I "man up" and start learning and enjoying the finer things of life. This included becoming more educated in the art of choosing and tasting wine.
For the record, I just started drinking beer maybe a year or two ago. I also enjoy cocktails and mixed drinks when the mood suits me. I have never been a fan of wine. There are only three exceptions to that. First, I find the wine you get at communion in church is pretty tasty. After all, it has been transubstantiated from mere fermented grapes into the very Blood of Christ. Just sayin'. Second, a while back I had some sparkling white wine at the Man Ranch that the Medic had brought over and I found that to be tasty. Lastly, the plum wine that GM smuggled over is pretty good too.
Bottomline, if I am going to drink wine it needs to be sweet. If I'm going to drink hard licquor, it needs to be sweet. I can handle regular beer now, but I prefer the Leinenkugel Berry Weiss. If I can't get that, Guinness. If I absolutely have to drink an American mass marketed beer, I'll take a Bud Lite Lime or a Michelob Ultra.
His name is BabySteps and he's the worst at what he does...
In case you're wondering what that is, it is opening a bottle of wine. Also, for you non-geeks, I'm referring to one of Wolverine's catch phrases. So anyway, instead of using a cork screw BabySteps uses this thing:
Instead of using a traditional cork screw, BabySteps opts for this Wolverine type claw thingy.
0 for 2
In my lifetime, I've seen BabySteps open two bottles of wine with the stupid contraption he shown above, and both times the cork got stuck inside the bottle. The first time this happened, GM wanted to do a toast so we could all start eating and drinking so there's GM holding his glass up and rolling his eyes while BabySteps pushes the cork into the bottle. The second time I've seen him open a bottle of wine was last night. He failed yet again and splashed wine all over himself. FAIL!
Just so there's no hard feelings BabySteps, here's a little video on how it's supposed to be done:
Sorry it's off center. I'm too lazy to adjust the embed code. Hmmm... Doesn't seem too difficult.
At any rate, BabySteps is standing there telling me how corkscrews are for plebians and that true wine aficionados don't use a corkscrew, blah, blah, blah. Then he pushes the cork into the bottle. Then he splashes the wine all over himself.
You can't just drink it
After he pours the glasses, he then proceeds to give me a list of things I have to do before I actually drink the wine so that I can enjoy it. He also goes on to talk about the different types of wine like Merlin, Caberet, and some frenchy sounding stuff. Hey! I don't really care. As far as I'm concerned, he's talking about wizards, Liza Minelli movies, and using surrender language.
So here's what he tells me:
1. Swirl the wine around in the glass and smell it. "You want to get the full boquet!" he says.
2. Look for the "halo". Apparently, if it is a good wine it will have a supernatural glow to it like the aurora borealis or something.
3. Swirl and smell it again. [BabySteps is winking and smiling at me as he does this.]
4. Before sipping the wine, acclimate your mouth and prepare your taste buds to receive the wonderous sensations and texture of the wine by swishing it around in your mouth. "Remember, this isn't mouthwash. Gently wash the wine over your gums and tongue. Let it caress the inside of your mouth with its velvety smoothness." WTF! This is getting gayer by the second.
5. Swallow the wine slowly and not all at once. "This is good wine! It's not to be gulped down like a fruit punch flavored Gatorade."
6. Enjoy the warmth and intricate taste sensations the wine provides in your subsequent sips.
The Verdict
It was gross. It was like trying to swallow room temperature ocean water. I didn't like it. BabySteps accused me of being a "fruit" for liking sweet wine. My arguement to that is he is a fruit for enjoying swallowing warm slighty salty and bitter liquids.
END OF LINE
TIME IS COMING TOO FAST SLOW THAT PUPPY DOWN!
Blegh.
Ok, my mood is a bit colored (admittedly) by the newly acquired snarfly nose and general inclination to punctuate every movement of my body with "oof" as a result of an also newly acquired backache.
This week was spent getting the C's holiday project in, purchasing gifts for strangers (Giving trees), wrapping said gifts, having the C's birthday (coolest. cake. Evar!), crate training Thumps (who had decided recently that the library was an excellent place to pee), decorating for Christmas, shampooing carpets (see Thumps), and selling our piano.
I had high hopes for the C when he initially showed interest in the piano, which belonged to my Old Man. My Old Man can beat anyone playing piano, except perhaps Liberace, and then I think he could probably beat Liberace if only we got him a rhinestone jacket. The C is no longer interested in piano and for the last 18 months or so it has decorated the library and valiantly kept up the umpteen photos of the C I have. I placed an ad on Craislist 44 hours ago. It sold this morning.
I may have underpriced it. My dad's advice (and whose permission I sought pre-sale) was to sell it for what it cost me to tune it and move it. That was $85 becaue I didn't tune it yet; I've sold it for significantly more than that (and apparently significantly less than what others are selling for). With the filthy lucre I get I will get a DESK, and cease to use my sideboard as one.
Life is exciting here in the suburbs. I'm going to medicate some more and and watch Emeril make fig newtons. I'm sure there are a bunch of things I've got to do, but I'm in a haze of dueling Christmas light decorations (with the neighbors: across the street is full-on tacky; to the north is full-on elegance, and to the south is nonexistent. Mine are le Target basic).
Next post on Hanukkah...
My Nook was delivered yesterday! I'm so excited about it - its
everything I was expecting and I'm excited to buy books for it. On
Tuesday night we drove to a Barnes & Nobles about thirty miles away in
order to get a cover for it (our B&N didn't have cases, just a
display) and I'm really happy with the one I choose. It was between
the brown one and a red one. The red one was nice, but I was looking
for low-key.
I was also happy to go online and see that B&N has adjusted their
eBook prices to MATCH Amazon! I bought "Her Fearful Symmetry" -
originally $26.99 in hardcover, now $7.29 in hardcover - for $5.79!
Brilliant, isn't it?! I've got so many books I want to buy - let's
just hope that I can hold back!
A team that wins a lot of games, that is relevant year-in-and-year-out, that consistently makes the playoffs and contends for, but never wins a championship – rightfully said to underachieve on the biggest stages.
or
A team that has been generally irrelevant except for one season in which enough things came together for them to squeak into the playoffs and pull off (an over-achieving) Championship, only to return to irrelevance?
Hello everybody! I'm Picklez and I've just noticed a new dance craze sweeping the dojo. It's called the Testing Week Shuffle! This is not to be confused with Archie Bell and the Drells' "Tighten Up" (which I something I recommend these students do) or the Chicago Bears' terrible "Superbowl Shuffle". Here's how you do the Testing Week Shuffle:
1. Don't take your karate training seriously.
2. Don't make any effort to learn.
3. Make the realization that if you don't learn the material you won't get to test.
4. Complain (or have your parent complain for you) about poor instruction.
5. Scramble like hell to learn the material.
Yes. It's that time of year again and everytime I think that I am past the point of having to do the Testing Week Shuffle. I should just be merciless and not let the people test, but if I at least don't go through the motions of trying to help them, then there will be Hell to pay.
I always know who it's going to be, too. I'm like the Nostradamus of Suck. When will people learn that I'm not kidding around when I say you have to practice at home. Hardly anyone listens to me and then they are surprised when I tell them that whatever I'm watching them do is terrible.
This time around I have people with eligibility issues. In other words, I have people who started the class this quarter that are ready to test and people who have been in for nearly 8 months doing the Testing Week Shuffle. It's sad and it's a slap in the face to everyone. On one hand, I have to say, "I can't let you test because you don't have the requisite number of classes despite the fact you are very good at what you're doing" and on the other hand, I have to say, "I can't let you test because you're terrible despite the fact that you've been in for nearly a year." (Ironically, it's pretty much the same as the Shihan dilemma I'm suffering.)
One of the biggest conflicts I have is that the people in question are so borderline as to the material. I mean, they are making very small mistakes. Of course, if they had been busting their asses for the past 2 months, I would let them slide a little on those mistakes. But simply on principle, I shouldn't let them test to teach them not to wait until the last minute. These are truly the times it sucks to be a karate instructor.
END OF LINE
My Groups
-
Love where you live Updated: Yesterday
-
50 in 365 Updated: 3 days ago
Neighborhood
Explore friends, family, friends & family, or entire neighborhood.
